Surrogacy abroad rules

Rules

• Start a video call, grab something to drink and take a seat!
• Pick up the card that says ‘the child’ and keep this close by, to remind you to always think how this will be for the child.
• Pick up a card and read it aloud.
• Give everyone a little time to think about the question.
• Take turns to give an answer. Everyone should give an answer. You can also pass, if you want to skip this particular question; then everyone can ask questions about the answers given.
• Make sure everyone gets to have their say, and keep an eye on how the conversation is going. Is someone quieter than the rest, but do they want to say something? Pay attention to non-verbal signals.
• The intended parents and the surrogate are often referred to in the questions, but the surrogate’s partner (if applicable) should also be included! He is just as important and should take part just like the others.
• The answers you give should not be seen as binding agreements. You don’t need to take any concrete decisions during this game.
• Once the topic on the card has been discussed to everyone’s satisfaction, put the card away; if you want to return to that topic later, put it to one side.
• Don’t do too many cards in one session; remember where you got to and carry on again later. (People have said they generally do about 4 to 5 cards per session.)
• Change the categories up a bit, see how you feel – do you want a less serious card next, or something that goes a little deeper?
• If you think a question isn’t appropriate, think of something else in that general area, or skip that question.
• Some of these rules can also apply to other conversations you’ll have together: taking some time to think is always a good thing; make sure everyone has had their say, and that everyone gets the opportunity to respond  to the others; only move on to the next topic once everyone feels that the last one has been covered to everyone’s satisfaction.
• Have many good conversations and a lot of fun with this question & answer game!